Like Father, Like Mother, Like Me
by lishbug
Summary: Olivia has been working SVU for 7 years. What is going on in her head, what is behind those brown eyes. Can Olivia find the comfort she so desperately needs. Broken Olivia 1
1. Default Chapter

**Title: **Like Father, Like Mother, Like Me **Pairing:** O/? (You'll just have to wait and find out) 

**Disclaimer:** They don't belong to me. I don't even pretend to own them.

**Spoilers:** If you have never seen SVU then it may be but there are no specific spoilers. I made up Tom Pullman, Bev, Becky, and Petey Jones and anyone else that shows up in the fic that you don't recognize and if you really want them you can have them. Just remember it's all in good fun.

**Summary:** Olivia has been working SVU for 7 years. What is going on in her head, what is behind those brown eyes. Can Olivia find the comfort she so desperately needs.

**1.**

Olivia Benson was tossing and turning in her bed. Her sheets were twisted and one pillow had been banished to the floor. She sat up and kicked and twisted the sheets until they were straightened out. Then she laid back with a sigh, feeling some relief from the exhaustion that had started taking over her life. She started drifting off to sleep enjoying sweet dreams. Then the cell phone started ringing on the bedside table.

"Benson!" she spit into the phone.

"Olivia I'm sorry to bother but we have an assault in progress in apartment 9a, called in by an neighbor. Elliot is on his way right now." Captain Cragen rattled off.

"Wait what's the address of this apartment 9a?" Olivia asked with confusion.

"Oh sorry, it's your apartment building. Elliot should be there now."

"I'm on it Cap."

Olivia shot out of bed a fresh energy throwing her out of her exhausted state. She threw some track pants on over her boxers and a NYPD detective hoodie over her tank. She clipped her badge to the pouch and took her gun, but left her holster on her nightstand. She ran out her door and into the hallway. Elliot was coming out of the elevator, looking like he too had been brought out of bed. He locked eyes with Olivia and they quickly and silently made their way to the stairwell. They flew up the four flights to the ninth floor. When they came out in the hall they heard loud noises coming from 9a then silence. They rushed over to the door and pounded on it.

"NYPD OPEN UP!" Olivia shouted and pounded again.

When no one answered she moved out of the way and Elliot opened up the door entering the apartment first, guns at the ready.

They cleared the living room. It looked fairly well kept up except for toys that were spilling into the middle of the room from a toy box. They entered the kitchen and found two children crying, a little boy about 5 and a little girl about 7. Olivia stayed in the kitchen with them, squatting down to their height, while Elliot proceeded to the master bedroom.

"Hi, my name is Olivia, I'm a police officer." Olivia started talking to the children and unfastening her badge from her sweatshirt and handing it to the two wide-eyed young kids.

The little boy took the badge and started to cry. Olivia held out her arms and the little boy nestled into her arms. The little girl looked at Olivia with awe.

"You really a police officer?" she asked shyly.

"Yes, and my partner and I have come to help you guys out. What is your name sweetheart?"

"Becky, and my brother's name is Petey." Just then shouting started invading the suddenly eerily quiet apartment.

"Thank you Becky, how about we get out of here."

She picked up Petey who has still silently crying in her arms and took Becky's hand and they went out into the hall. Where two uniformed officers had joined for back up.

Meanwhile with Elliot/

Elliot cleared the hall and the first two bedrooms and bathroom leaving the master bedroom at the end of the hall all that was left. The door was slightly ajar. He could make out quiet struggling sounds coming from with in the room. He pushed the door open with his foot letting his gun enter the room first. The room was light by the moon coming in the window. And the master bathroom light was on. The woman was bound to the bed with a gag in her mouth to keep her quiet. The perp had in his haste to get away from the intrusion had tripped over his pants that were around his ankles and hit his head on the footboard of the bed. He was just starting to pick himself up when Elliot put his foot on his back forcing him back to the ground.

"I don't think so buddy." Elliot growled at the man as he reached around for his cuffs and slapped one side on and pulled him up by the back of his T-shirt. He held on to the scruff of his neck as he ordered the perp to pull up his pants. After that was accomplished he slapped the other side of the cuffs on and threw him into the waiting hands of a uniform. He then turned toward the woman and released her from the binding and gags. She started crying then. He called out for Olivia.

"There is an ambulance on the way. The Uni's are taking the perp to the station for interrogation we will have a go at him when we get there; Cragen is waiting for us to get back. The kids are waiting for a social worker, in the living room, she will take them to the hospital." Olivia filled Elliot in on what was going on outside of the room.

"Thanks Liv, do you wanna talk to the woman, she seems kinda skittish around me."

"Sure El. Why don't you go wait with the kids."

Elliot left the room, heading back out to where the kids were waiting. Olivia turned and saw the young mother sobbing. She started walking over, the woman was looking at her with pleading eyes tears still streaming down her face.

"Please just get me out of here. Please."

"There is an ambulance on the way, Honey, why don't we try and get out of bed."

Olivia reached out to the woman but she shrunk away and started getting up herself. Olivia stepped back away not touching the woman but ready to jump in to help if she needed it. The woman had a pretty banged up leg.

"We can talk when we get you checked out at the hospital. What is your name, Honey?"

"Bev. Beverly Jones."

"Okay Bev the Ambulance is here. I'm going to go and check on the kids are you going to be alright."

"I don't know."

"We'll meet you at the hospital and don't worry about your children they are in safe hands."

Olivia looked back at Bev as she was exiting the room. The EMTs were assessing her and getting ready to move her out of the apartment.

When she walked into the living room Elliot was talking to another woman.

"Cindy this is my partner Olivia."

"Hello Olivia, I'm for social services. I'm going to take Becky and Petey to the hospital and from there we will decide what to do. Maybe the Jones have someone that they can stay with for a few days."

"Alright." Olivia listened to what Cindy had to say. "El lets go check on Bev at the hospital and then get over to the station to see Novak and the perp."

They quickly stopped at Olivia's Apartment so she could grab her holster and a jacket.

Hospital/

Olivia walked into the curtained area of the ER where Bev Jones was assigned. Elliot was outside in the hall talking to the doctor.

"Hi Bev. I'm Olivia. How are you doing?"

"Are my kids okay?"

"They are outside with Cindy from Social Services. She will be in soon to talk to you about options. How are you doing, that's what I'm worried about right now."

"I'm doing okay considered."

"What happened. I'm going to need a statement and if you are up to it we can take care of it right now."

"I just want to get this out of the way." Bev stated with tears in her eyes.

"Okay lets get started." Olivia pulled up a chair and took out of her pocket a pad and pen.

"Do you know your attacker?"

"Yes he is a new neighbor, Tom Pullman. He lives I think in Apartment 9d. He had been really friendly when he first moved in. He would give candy to the kids and he invited me out to the movies, however I had to turn him down because I had a previous engagement that I need to attend to for work."

"Okay, what happened tonight?" Olivia asked as she scribbled on her pad.

"I had put the kids to bed and started tidying up the house at about eight thirty. There was a knock at the door. Tom was there he had a bottle of diet coke, he knew that I didn't drink, and a movie with him. He asked if I was up for a movie night. I thought what not, we were going to rain check the previous date anyway, so he came in and I got us some glasses with ice and we settled down on the couch to watch the movie it ended about quarter to eleven. He got up to leave but instead of leaving he turned around with that look in his eye you know the one that vacant one were he wants what he wants no matter what. He reached for my shoulders and leaned in to kiss me. I accepted the kiss, but that was all I wanted. It didn't need to go further. I didn't want it to go further. He leaned back in again but I stepped back. He then drew back his hand and slapped me…… can I have a drink of water please?"

Olivia stopped writing on her pad and looked glanced up. "Sure, just a second," she said with a reassuring smile.

She stepped outside to get a nurse. The nurse and Olivia returned after a moment. Bev took the drink and the nurse left a pitcher on the tray. Olivia returned to her seat. Bev took a deep breath and continued.

"The slap was so hard I thought that it would knock me out. It didn't however. He came at me then. Yelling how could I refuse him, I tried to ask him to be quiet I didn't want the children to wake up. He pushed me into the toy box and my foot got caught in one of Petey's toys and I fell banging and scratching my leg on the wooden box, knocking all the toys across the floor. He then roughly picked me up and took me to the bedroom. The kids came out to the kitchen then and they started crying I told them to stay there. When we got into the bedroom he put my hands behind my head and tied them with something I couldn't see and put a handkerchief, from his pocket into my mouth to shut me up. He then undid his pants a climbed onto the bed. He then proceeded to rape me, he didn't use a condom. Your partner walked in just as he was finishing."

"Okay we will need some pictures for evidence. We will change the locks on your apartment, and fix your door. Cindy will be in to discuss where you and your children can go until you can or want to return home. Everything is going to be okay Bev, here is my card."

Bev took the card and looked at it. "Benson? Wait I thought I recognized you live in the building don't you, that's why you got there so fast."

"Yes I live on the 5th floor. Don't worry this is a pretty simple case. We might need to talk to you later. And you will probably have to be a witness so don't go too far. I'll send Cindy in now."

Olivia walked out of the curtain area. She should have known, she should have done more, this doesn't happen under her watch, it happened in her apartment. She shook her head and headed out to where Cindy was waiting for the statement to be taken.

SVU Squad room a few hours later/

Elliot walked out of the interview room and into the observation room.

Olivia, Casey and Cragen were standing watching the interview.

"This should be a fairly easy case to win. We caught the perp with his pants down. We have physical evidence of physical assault. And we have a strong testimony from the victim." Casey said confidently.

"I hope we got it, I should have been able to do better." Olivia said with downcast eyes.

"Olivia it is okay there is nothing you could have done. You can't know everything that goes on in your building. It is impossible, your not even there half the time you're here." Cragen said to her reassuringly.

Two weeks later/

Casey Novak strolled into the SVU Squad room. She came to a stop and dropped her briefcase on the floor next to Fin's desk and spun around.

"We got him. He will be serving 5 years at Rikers and then probation. However he might end up getting out early he will be put in the books at a sexual predator. Either way we nailed him, it was touch and go for a while. Defense tried to paint the picture of consent and 'she liked it rough.'" She said with a grin.

"Great job Novak," Elliot said standing up from his desk and going to the coffeepot.

"Where is Olivia?"

"She is taking the day off, she will be back tomorrow."

"Well if you talk to her let her know the verdict."

"Will do, thanks for the update."

The Precinct Gym/

Olivia gave the bag a hard right jab and then brought her right leg around for a sharp roundhouse kick. The bag swung left then came back and she grabbed it with both her arms hugging the bag.

"Benson. Don't want to get you mad."

Olivia looked around the bag.

"Hey El."

"I tried your house and cell. When I didn't get an answer I figured you were here."

"Yeah, what's up?" Olivia asked leaning into the bag for support.

"Novak came back with the sentencing. 5 years at Rikers then probation. She said he might get out early but he is registered now and that the case was a tough one the defense tried to say rough consent."

"Jesus Christ. What is this shit? Rough consent? Where do these people come up with these things." Olivia released the back and gave it a jab.

"We got him though Liv. We got him. Bev is doing okay I guess she is moving back from her sister's to her apartment. Someone has already moved into 9d, your building must have a waiting list."

"Yeah actually it does. It is one of the nicer buildings in the neighborhood. I'm going to go home now I've done enough damage to this bag. I'll see you tomorrow, call if you need anything."

"No you have had a rough couple weeks. Go home and I don't want to see or hear from you until tomorrow morning."

"Yes Dad." Olivia swatted Elliot's shoulder as they both exited the gym.

Olivia climbed into her car; she had driven over today. She shifted into gear with a sigh, it was hard to pretend so much when she was at work, and she wasn't sure how much longer she could keep up her facade.

&&&

Olivia locked the door behind her, hung her keys on the hook by the door and dropped her bag onto the floor in the entryway. She sighed taking a look at the answering machine and seeing no new messages she headed to her bedroom and shed her work out clothes and went into the bathroom to shower. As the steam started to billow she stepped into the spray. God if felt good. The grim of her workout started to wash away. However, the feelings inside her refused to wash away.

Aside from Bev's case, which was seemingly easy aside from the fact that it happened in her own apartment building, she and Elliot had a tough case that dealt with a child who was accused and convicted of sexual assault. The defense insisted that the crime was one of childhood misunderstanding and genetic dispositions, not that either of those could make a solid case, he tried… _You see,_ the defense attorney had stated, _this boy's father is not his biological father. His biological father is in prison out west for aggravated assault and sexual encounters with a minor, this boy's mother. He was brought up well aware that his father was a criminal and that he too was a bad boy, which is what his maternal grandmother always called him._ Olivia hated cases like this it brought back too many crappy memories. She was nothing like her father. Nothing. NOTHING!

The water was starting to get cold. Olivia let it. If she couldn't wash away the feelings she was having maybe she could freeze them away. Tears streamed down her face. She didn't understand. Usually it went away, usually it was subtle, not this time this time the feeling was too much to handle. SHE WOULD NOT BE HER FATHER. She slammed the water off and stepped out of the shower, not even bothering with a towel she stood at the sink. She looked at herself in the mirror as the steam receded. She could not bear to look at herself. It disgusted her. She threw a punch at the mirror holding her image. The hit was so powerful that it shattered the mirror and she scrapped her knuckles, taking a fairly large chunk out of her one knuckle on her right hand.

She panicked. _Shit what? Shit I can't believe I just did that._ She grabbed for a clean towel so she didn't get an infection. she rummaged through the medicine cabinet to fine some gauze and a bandage, being careful not to step or place her other hand on anymore broken glass. She located the supplies and started to wash and dress the wound. _God damn it I think this is going to need stitches. How the hell am I going to explain this to the Captain. Shit._

She quickly got dressed and raced out into the street and hailed a taxi. She brought a towel because the bleeding was coming through the bandage she had applied. The taxi pulled up to the emergency room entrance and she paid him and ran in.

"How can I help you." The desk attendant asked with less enthusiasm than Olivia thought possible.

"I cut my hand I think I may need stitches." Olivia stated.

"Can you fill this out." The DA handed her a clip board and pen.

"It was my right hand. And I'm right handed, no I can't fill it out." Olivia was getting annoyed.

Why am I getting annoyed he might not have realized. How could he not notice my towel wrapped hand. Whatever. Don't get upset Olivia. Jesus I'm talking to myself.

"Okay ma'am. Just give me your name and I'll have one of the nurses come get you when they are ready." The attendant said as he took back the instruments, pen posed and waiting.

"Olivia Benson."

"Okay Ms. Benson just have a seat and I will have someone with you very quickly."

No sooner had she sat down then a nurse came to the waiting room entryway.

"Olivia Benson."

Olivia got up and followed the nurse to a curtained area. She hopped up on the bed and waited expectantly. The nurse carefully pulled the towel away and saw that the previous bandaging had been saturated. She then very carefully lifted the edge of it with a gloved hand.

"Yup, your right this is going to need some stitches. Have you ever been here before, incase we have a file on you."

"Yes I was here once last year when I was injured on the job." Olivia stated.

"Okay well let me go grab that chart and a doctor, I'll be right back. You can lay down if you want your looking a little pale."

"Thank you." Olivia slowly laid down, all of a sudden she didn't feel so well. She didn't know if it was the cut or nerves but she was feeling a little nauseous. She must have dosed off for a minute because the next thing she knew there was a doctor holding and examining her hand. She started to sit up.

"No you don't have to sit up its okay. Olivia my name is Dr. Vicky Velez. Can you tell me…"

With that the nausea that was brewing in her system let loose. She sat up and threw up on the floor at the doctor's feet. The doctor jumped back slightly to avoid a shoe disaster and the nurse came up behind Olivia and helped her to lay back onto the bed. The doctor grabbed Olivia's chart, to see what was written there. There was nothing that stuck out for the Dr. other then the fact that Olivia was a detective and her emergency contact was her… partner or her captain. She decided that she would have the precinct called and see which one was available to come down.

Olivia threw up again. She was starting to shake a little, the vomiting was taking a lot out of her. She curled up into a ball on the bed and cried out when she pressed on her injured hand slightly. Dr. Velez had the nurse give Olivia a sedating drug after checking for allergies in her chart and had her go and call the 1-6 precinct to see if her partner or captain could come in. Then the doctor started on cleaning and stitching the wound.

17 minutes later/

Elliot and Cragen came flying into the ER. They asked about Olivia at the front desk and were directed to the second curtain on the left. They raced around the desk and came to a screeching halt at the sight they saw. Olivia was sleeping with small drip of fluids and medication; her hand was all gauzed up. A doctor approached them.

"Hello are you Detective Stabler and Captain Cragen?"

"Yes" they proclaimed together.

"Hi, I'm Dr. Vicky Velez." Elliot paled and turned away.

"Dr. Velez can I talked to over here for a minute." Cragen asked the confused Doctor, leading her a few feet away from Elliot and Olivia.

"I don't mean to be disrespectful or rude, but it may be best if you hand Olivia's care off to another doctor if at all possible."

"Why? Does this have anything to do with Detective Benson's and Stabler's reactions to me. After I said my name Olivia's nausea over came her and she nearly vomited on me and Detective Stabler paled at my name."

"Yes unfortunate it does. My detectives lost a very, very good friend and colleague to a high profile criminal that shares a surname with you. I'm sure that you are unrelated seeing he had no female children. It has been a little over two years and they are still trying to deal with it."

"Alright well why don't I tell you what we have then I'll find another doctor. I'm sorry, I usually just have people call me Dr. Vic."

"It's alright, try not to take it personally. Olivia will probably feel terrible once everything is said and done."

"Okay well Olivia came in about 45 minutes ago with a laceration to her knuckles and back of her right hand. She looked pale and clammy when she got back here, that was before she even met me. She lost her lunch after I gave her my name. She has five stitches on the back of her hand and fingers. She was unable to tell us what happened. We have her on some antibiotics to help avoid infection there was some glass stuck in the wound. We also put her on some fluids she appeared to be dehydrated and getting sick didn't help it at all. She is resting now. We had to sedate her to get her hand clean. She was a wreck."

"Thank you doctor. I appreciate what you have done."

"I'll send in Dr. Johnston to set up release. She should be able to go home once the medication and fluids empty and she wakes up. Which should be shortly."

Dr. Vic turned and walked toward the nurse's station. Cragen turned and went into Olivia's area where Elliot was sitting in a chair waiting.

Cragen filled Elliot in on what the doctor had said about everything. When he was through Olivia started to stir and open her eyes. She looked around the room and started to get up.

"Whoa, Liv what are you doing." Elliot stood up and put a hand out to stop her. "You have to stay here until those bags are empty."

"El, what the hell are you and Cap doing here?"

"You put us as your emergency contacts on your ER chart don't you remember."

"No. Sort of. I just want to get out of here."

"The bags are empty so we just have to wait for the doctor." Captain Cragen said strolling over to the hanger.

Just then the doctor poked his head in.

"Hi Detectives, I'm Dr. Johnston, it looks like you are ready to leave. Let me just pull out this IV…. Okay here is some scrips for some medication it is only for a few days take them all please. You can come back here in a week or go to your primary doctor to get the stitches out."

"I'll go to the precinct doctor, thanks."

"I guess that will work too. Here is the paper work just sign here and you are set to go."

Olivia scribbled her name across the line and hopped off the table.

"Don't forget to fill the script. And have and great day."

"Yeah." Olivia called over her shoulder.

"Liv, do you need a ride home? I can wait while you get that filled."

Olivia was going to refuse the ride from Elliot but decided that it would be best if she did accept it, she didn't want more questions to be asked then necessary.

"Sure El, thanks." She said as they entered the Pharmacy across the hall from the ER. She quickly filled the prescription and she and Elliot loaded up into the car. Cragen had caught a cab back to the precinct.

They drove in silence for the first few seconds of the trip. Elliot broke the silence.

"So what happened partner."

"I don't want to talk about it. It was nothing just an accident."

"Are you sure. That is some heavy damage for an accident. Do you want to talk about Velez?"

"No, I don't." Olivia stared out the window just wanting to get back to her apartment and clean up and go to bed.

"We're here do you want me to walk you upstairs?"

"No El! I'm fine, I'll see you tomorrow." Olivia got out and slammed the door.

"Liv, Cap said you could have tomorrow off too." Elliot called through the window that he rolled down.

"No I'll be in I'll be fine in the morning." She stalked off toward the building.

"Okay Liv." Elliot called out the window as he drove back toward the station.

A/N: Okay here it is. The first installment of a short SVU fic mostly revolving around Olivia. It probably will only be one or two more installments long. I'm taking a break from my other stories and trying something new. Enjoy and review. Peace


	2. Second

Like Father, Like Mother, Like Me 

**2.**

Olivia walked into her apartment and locked the door behind her. She ran her left hand over her face and went to assess the damage to the bathroom mirror.

There was glass in the sink and on the floor. She started carefully picking up the larger pieces and throwing them into the waste paper basket. She then grabbed a small broom and swept up the floor. When all the pieces of the broken mirror were in the garbage she set out to remove the mirror from the wall. She wanted all evidence gone so that in the morning she could just go to work.

After everything in the bathroom was back to normal, minus a mirror, she climbed into bed and turned herself over to a restless sleep.

&&&

Olivia stopped outside of the 1-6 precinct, took a deep breath and plastered a smile on her face. She easily strode into the room and placed her coat on the back of her chair. Elliot was at his desk already working and looked up to offer a smile. She grabbed a coffee cup off her desk and glided over to the coffee machines and poured herself a cup. Munch and Fin came into the precinct chatting away about what makes the perfect Saturday night.

"Hey Olivia, everything okay, heard you got yourself quite the battle scar."

"Yeah right Fin, I got into a fight with the coffee pot. Swung around too fast and backhanded it into the sink, luckily it was not hot. All that to answer the phone for it to be a telemarketer."

"Well you know those telemarketers are all part of a conspiracy…"

"Oh be quiet Munch."

"I'm serious Elliot."

"Okay guys we got a hot one, a body was found in the park, the uniforms noticed a condom wrapper and missing clothes he had us called." Cragen came into the bullpen and handed Elliot the file.

"Elliot, Olivia you two head down to the park and see the scene. Munch Fin he have an ID already, a Missy Kline, why don't you go check for an address and look at the neighbors."

Cragen went back into his office and shut the door. Elliot and Olivia headed out to the car. Munch and Fin started on finding out information about the victim.

&&&

Elliot and Olivia moved under the police line flashing their badges.

"What do we have?" Olivia asked the ME on the scene.

"Young female, strangulation. Missing panties. There is a condom wrapper, no condom. Won't find fluids but if the guy didn't use gloves we'll have finger prints. First guess at time of death about 6 hours ago."

"Thank you. El why don't we look to see if we can find anything else around here for evidence. Then we'll head back to see what Munch and Fin have found before hitting the morgue."

&&&

/2 days later/

Elliot stormed out of the interrogation room.

"The scum lied to us he was there he did know. Damn it. Do we have the boyfriend Casey."

"We have him. There is enough evidence and if I put him on the stand the jury should see right through him. He all but came out and said he did it. His prints are at the scene and on the body. He has no way out."

"Good." Elliot left in search of his partner who had disappeared a couple hours before.

On his way back to the bullpen he glanced at his watch. He didn't realize how late in was, he spent all evening with the suspect. It was now ten o'clock.

He found Olivia at her desk, eyes glazed over.

"We got him Liv. Casey thinks that it's a solid case. Should be no problems…. Liv are you alright."

"Hmm, what yeah El I'm fine. Just haven't been sleeping well."

"When was the last time you actually tired to sleep?"

"Um, well, three days ago."

"Liv either go home or hit the crash room. You'll be no good unless you get some sleep."

"Yeah, I just want to finish this up. Why don't you go home to Kathy and the kids."

"Alright, but I want to see you rested for the morning."

"Okay."

Elliot grabbed his coat and yawned. This was the earliest he was to get home in weeks. He left after waving goodbye to Olivia.

After another 2 hours of mindless staring at the file on her desk Olivia got up and dragged herself to her locker. She grabbed a pair of black sweats and a dark gray hoodie and went to the bathroom. She was too tired to head home so she just changed quick and flopped on the cot in the crash room.

A dream filled sleep soon over took her, she just wished they could have been pleasant.

XXXXX

The vacant eyes of ADA Alex Cabot looked up form the concrete walk. Flames billowing from the explosion in the background. She heard the cries of Elliot and her own voice calling to her to hold on everything was fine, the sirens that filled the void….

Her heart sank when the realization that Alex was dead hit her. Nothing could fill it, not even the half a bottle of scotch that she used to drown 3 bottles of beer. She always knew not to mix, but she also never knew pain like loosing your best friend….

Her heart leaped when she saw the blonde was alive. But no, she had to go, how long. No, can't be forever. 'Who else can I confide in, who else will bicker with me when I know she is right we don't have enough. I went to the funeral. It hurt more knowing my friend was alive then believing she was dead.'

She was 13 years old. Her mother was out again… the sounds of fighting on the street woke her up. Her mother came into the apartment. Knocking over things as she staggered through the house. 'Maybe if I wasn't me she wouldn't be like this.' The mantra that flowed through her head every time her mom home. Feeling the rage inside herself she tossed and turned around in her bed. In the morning as soon as it was light she would go. Again trying to runaway, but never succeeding. Even though her mother never blamed Olivia for it, she knew, she just knew if she was not a rapists daughter her mother would stop drinking. When she drank her eyes never said love. They looked at her with sadness and fear. Tomorrow Olivia would run, but she wouldn't get far, because tomorrow mom would be okay and pancakes would be for breakfast, it was Sunday, mom was okay on Sundays.

The young child looked at Olivia with fear in his eyes. He wanted so much for help. He reached out for her. She gathered him in her arms and brought him out of the warehouse, removing the tape from his hands.

The victims flashed before her eyes. It was all a blur the motion making her nauseous.

It ended abruptly then herself walked toward her. 'Like father, like daughter.' She spit out.

Another flash flew before her. A club. The music pounding. It was college.

The sounds were too much. Memories ran together. She saw herself more, why couldn't she stop herself. She remembered the night crashing down on her. She approached the girl in her dreams, she was drunk, the girl was not. Olivia grabbed her waist and whispered in her ear. The girl turned around and pushed Olivia away. Something inside Olivia snapped. She stared at the girl, then quickly exited and threw up on the lawn outside. She WOULD NOT BE HER FATHER. NO. She never told anyone about that night, she had tried to forget. No one knew what went through her head that night. Nothing, emotions never came that out of control since then either.

XXXXXXX 

She was crying now curled up in a ball sobbing in the crash room she thrashed around for a while and fell out of bed, never waking just continued crying.

&&&

Captain Cragen opened the door to the SVU. He noticed Olivia's jacket and knew that she must be in the crash room. He was glad that she was getting some rest. She had been looking worse for wear lately. He started coffee and was walking back toward his office when he heard a thump from the crash room.

He ran up to the room and hesitated momentarily at the sight he saw.

Olivia, sweats clad, curled up in the fetal position on the floor. Sobbing. She appeared to still be asleep. He approached her carefully and placed a fatherly hand on her back trying to wake her gently. She awoke with a start. The hardness of the floor brought her to a seated position. She pulled her knees to her chest and relaxed her forehead on them. Never making eye contact with her captain.

"Do we have a case Captain?" Olivia asked, her face still hidden, the sobs still apparent in her voice.

"No, no I was just making sure you were alright. I heard a noise. We whouldn't need you for a few more hours. Why don't you try to get some more sleep Olivia if we really need you we will come up and get you."

"Okay Cap.' Olivia said into her knees. Slightly relieved that she didn't have to go downstairs and face her fellow detectives.

Cragen turned to leave giving a worried yet sympathetic glance to his detective. He should have seen it coming. She is his best detective, he will do anything to help her and keep her. The victims of the SVU needed her. She was so passionate. He exited then leaving Olivia in the crash room. He flipped the sign on the handle to 'don't disturb' so that she could get some rest with out any of the other detectives in the unit barging in.

Elliot had entered with Fin and Munch while the Captain was in the crash room with Olivia. He told them that she would be resting for the morning and only to disturb her if necessary. They all nodded each glancing worriedly at the door. Elliot pondered checking on her but decided that it would be best to let her sleep uninterrupted.

Cragen came out of his office a few minutes later.

"Okay guys, Munch Fin we need you two down at this address we have a possible rape. Elliot the FBI called and they want to talk to you about a case from a few years back. They sad something about running details by you. They wanted Olivia too but I told them I could only spare you. They said fine, they want to see you now.

The bullpen was vacant of detectives. Cragen started toward his office again when another person entered the room. It was Dr. George Huang.

"Hello Don. I was just coming by to see how that last case we worked on came out." He said as he set his bag and coat on Olivia's desk.

"Everything worked out great. The guy got 5 years at Rikers. How were the conferences in DC?"

"They were okay but I'm glad to be back though. Everyone out working a case/" He surveyed the quiet room.

"Yeah, except olivia she is up in the crash room. I told her to get some more rest. I found her up there this morning quite a wrek."

"Is everything okay?"

"I don't know. I'm worried about her. She has been distant since the assult case in her building."

"How about I go up and check on her?"

"Alright."

Huang walked up to the crash room and gently opened the door. Olivia was still seated on the floor. The cot had been tousled, sheet, blanket, and pillows all on the floor.

"Olivia." He softly spoke her name.

She lifted her head to confirm who it was. She dropped her head back to her knees and groaned.

"Did Cragen send you?"

"No I stopped by and he said you were up here. How's it going?"

"Okay I guess."

"How about you sit at the table with me and have a cup of coffee with me, you look like you could use it."

"I'm not falling for it George."

"I just wanted to have coffee with a friend Olivia."

"Fine." She started to rise from the floor.

George disappeared and returned a moment later with two hot mugs of coffee and his bag. He placed one in front of Olivia who was seated on one side of the table and sat down across from her with his own mug.

They sat for a few minutes in silence.

"So, what happened to your hand?" He nodded toward the bandaged right hand of the tired detective.

"Got into a fight with an empty coffee pot." She added a laugh for effect.

"You have to be careful of those things they like to jump at you," he saw right through it.

"Yup." She took a sip of hot coffee it burned its way down.

"Did you sleep well last night?"

"No."

"How come?"

"Too much on my mind."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No" another sip, a larger one, more burn.

"Any interesting cases while I was gone?"

"No" She brought the cup to her mouth, but didn't drink. The acid churned in her stomach. She set the cup down a different kind of burn filled her esophagus. She suppressed it with a few hard swallows.

"Are you okay Olivia?" He noticed the action.

"Yeah just my lifestyle catching up to me." She glanced into the mug.

"So how have you been feeling lately, I haven't gotten to talk to you in a while."

She bit, she gave in. Tears sprung to her eyes as she looked up to the compassionate yet professional eyes of her friend. She looked into the mug , for strength perhaps. She looked up again a single tear ran down her cheek, she didn't bother to wipe it away.

"Not so good George." She finally spoke and placed her head down on the table and cried.

He took a moment to gather his words and let Olivia relax. HE got up and walked to the corner of the room and took out his phone to call his office.

"Hi, its George could you clear the rest of my morning. I've got an emergency at SVU…. Thanks."

He shut his phone and sat back at the table.

"What's been going on Olivia?"

She told him about the dream she had last night, best to start at the most recent event, if she was going to do this. She left out the part about Alex actually being alive, even though that held most of her agony.

"We will always find times when we grieve for our lost friends even years later, It's natural. You don't have to worry." He looked at Olivia in the eye before continuing.

"You are NOT your father."

"But, I felt it. Like I could have hurt her if I didn't' leave. My emotions get out of check sometimes. It has never been that bad though."

"But you were intoxicated, and you were able to walk away, I commend you for that, it takes strength. You're not your father. And your mother loved you. She would not have kept one day special for you. She would not have let you grow into the intelligent, beautiful, compassionate woman you are today if she didn't. She drank. Yes. Because of the rape. Maybe. But I am sure you were the one think that made her life okay. Maybe the fear in her eyes was not a case of who you are but because of who you thought she was. Also about the victims, if you ever stop caring then you have stopped living because that is who Olivia Benson is. You care so much about the victims. Justice has been given to them and peace shown them because of your passion for the job. SVU is lucky to have a detective like you." George smiled at her.

She took a deep breath and fidgeted with her bandage. She couldn't wait to get it off; a few days more.

"Do you want to tell me what really happened with your hand?"

"I…I punched my bathroom mirror." Olivia said sheepishly a blush rising in her cheeks.

"Why?"

"I couldn't look at myself in it I was disgusted with the rage coursing through me."

"So you really were attacking yourself?"

"I guess so."

"What happened after you punched the mirror?"

"I went to the hospital because I knew I would need stitches. I felt sick, because of what I had done and because I had just worked out and took a hot shower with out drinking anything. The doctor told me her name and I threw up and kept getting sick."

"What was the doctor's name?"

Olivia looked George in the eyes before continuing.

"Vikey Velez, no relation to Alex's Velez."

"Hmm, well I guess I know how that made you feel." George smiled a little.

"Yeah" Olivia smiled for the first time in weeks a real smile it was short lived though she was tired still.

"Thank you George, I'm glad I talked."

"Any time Olivia, look here are some sleeping pills, enough for one sleep if you want them. Get a good rest and maybe take some time off. You're stressed. If you need to talk again just find me."

'Thank you." She took the pills from George and put them into her pocket. And followed him out of the crash room.

The bullpen was a flurry of activity. Elliot had returned and was talking to Cragen in hushed tones…until

"What, You Knew? That's what they wanted?"

"I couldn't say anything Cap."

"Did Olivia know too?"

"Did I know what?"

"Liv maybe you should sit down. How are you feeling?"

"Don't change the subject El. Did I know what?"

George waited unsure of what the exchange would do for the fragile detective.

"Liv I was over at the FBI today, they called for us but only Cap would let me go."

"Okay what about it. Did they find that missing girl or something," she asked with a laugh. Referring to a case from her first year, it came back to haunt her every now and then. The case was closed basically. The parents had backed off a couple years ago.

"No Liv. It's Alex… she is coming home, they finally got everything cleaned up and put away. The threat is gone."

She couldn't speak.

"When?" she found her voice.

"Day after tomorrow. She actually knew a few days ago. They wouldn't let her contact anyone until they were 110 sure that it was taken care of."

"Have you talked with her?"

"No, but the agents said she wanted to see us as soon as she returned. You especially."

"Jesus, I can't believe it."

George stood there in shock for a moment. He couldn't believe that Cabot was still alive. He looked to see how Olivia was doing. This explained so much of the pain that was lingering in her account of her dreams, she knew. The pain wasn't because she was dead, it was because she was taken from us and still alive, but she couldn't talk about it.

"Olivia…" Cragen started.

"Cap," Olivia interrupted him, "I'm gonna need a few days off," she glanced at Huang, "Doc's orders."

George nodded his agreement.

"Of course" Cragen nodded. "We got you covered, You're all set for a few days. And your paper work is caught up to boot so don't worry about anything. I want my best detective back inaction happy and healthy." He smiled at her.

"Elliot could have a ride I'm not in the mood for a cab." She put on her coat.

"Sure," Elliot glanced at the Cap. who gave him a nod.

"Why don't you bring back lunch we have to fill in Novak," Cragen winked.

"Sure thing"

Elliot and Olivia left the precinct and headed out into the afternoon sun.


	3. Third

A/N: Thanks for the reviews MeWannabe, SVUlover17, SVU Chicky, and Pitaqueen

On to part 3

**Like Father, Like Mother, Like Me.**

**3.**

The ride from the station was a silent one. Both Olivia and Elliot were lost in thought.

Elliot pulled up to the front of her building, breaking the silence.

"You okay to make it to your door?"

"Yeah, thanks, you better get back," Olivia said numbly.

"Okay, I'll talk to you later."

Olivia nodded and slunk out of the car. Elliot watched for her to get into the building before pulling away from the curb. He chuckled to himself what would Novak think of Alexandra Cabot. He pulled out his cell phone when he got stuck in the Manhattan traffic. HE phoned ahead with a pizza order to a little local place.

He walked into the squad room 40 minutes later with a nice hot extra large, extra cheese, half everything, half pepperoni pizza from Uncle Tony's Pizza. He set the pizza on the break table and went to gather his colleagues. Soon they were all enjoying the cheesy heaven.

Casey Novak joined them a few minutes later, biting into a large pepperoni piece.

"I got a message that you wanted to see me?"

Captain Cragen stepped forward. "Yeah, we just got some news."

"Okay"

"ADA Alex Cabot was not killed she was in Witness Protection… she is returning to New York the day after tomorrow."

"Oh, wow, I feel like I should be worried. I actually get to meet ADA Cabot, to whom I would never live up to in the eyes of the squad."

"Casey, you know we respect you."

"Respect and acceptance are different sides of it, Detective Stabler."

"to be honest with you Casey, she would have liked you. We do accept you, no your not Alex, but we do accept you."

"What about Olivia?"

"She accepts you too, she is just afraid if she showed it then Alex was really gone for ever. That and she and Alex fought horrible on cases and they were best friends."

Casey nodded, understanding a little. She was interested to meet this Alexandra Cabot. She must be one hell of a lawyer because even now her name gets brought up in stories every now and then around the ADA's office.

/Same time Olivia's Apartment/

Olivia dropped her bag onto the floor and locked the door.

Tears immediately started running down her face.

The emotions of the day just crashing down on her. The dreams, conversations, and recent cases just putting pressure against the emotional dam. It had a large leak, George had helped mend it, but its weak now.

George was right she was attacking herself when she hit the mirror. She touched the bandaged hand, tears still streaming and walked to the living room, falling into a large chair.

She placed her forehead in the palm of her left hand and continued to cry. George's words echoed in her thoughts. Yes, she should get some rest, but she didn't want to sleep. Her body is so exhausted. She knows if she goes to sleep the dreams will return. She had not been completely honest when she had been talking to Huang this morning. It was more than just the dreams and the mirror episode that was the cause of her not okay status this morning.

She had been dealing with nightmares and depression on a regular basis for months now. The night of the assault in her building was a fluke in the sleep department.

Sometimes in the dreams she was working a hopeless case. Sometimes she herself was the victim, playing off when she was stalked. Sometimes she was the aggressor, playing off when she was in college. Sometimes it was about Alex. What if Alex was killed and she never was able to find out? What if Alex never came back? Sometimes the dreams were just horrible images. The things she sees at work area enough in themselves to give you nightmares.

She sat there in the chair, slowly calming down, drifting off to sleep.

&&&

Knock Knock Knock

Olivia threw herself awake, breathing hard, shaking. She had been dreaming. She couldn't remember it, but it must have been a nightmare again. She sat there for a second trying to calm the shaking and steady her breathing. She noticed it was dark and raining.

Knock Knock Knock

The door, she registered, some one was at the door.

She stumbled through the living room and fiddled with the locks. She braced her eyes for the light in the hall. She cracked the door, stretching the chain, and squinted out in to the light. She shut the door and pulled back the chain. She twisted the knob and flipped on the entry light that illuminated, in a soft tolerable glow, the living room. She stumbled back to her chair and rubbed her neck, it was stiff, and she had a headache… this was never a good sign.

&&&

George Huang waited before knocking again. Knowing Olivia she had not taken the pills yet so she was probably able to get the door.

After the second round of knocking he heard noise and locks being managed. He saw the tired eyes look out at him. He wasn't sure he would be let in. He knew she was grateful for his words earlier, but he could also tell she was hiding things. Most likely she knew he knew, she was intelligent.

He was unsure of what to do when the door creaked open; it seemed on its own. A light was on now at least.

He gingerly opened the door and stepped into the apartment. He carefully set his bag on top of his coat on the table next to the door. He shut the door, chaining it but not locking it. He didn't want to make her feel trapped.

He could see Olivia from here. She had resumed her position in the chair. She was still dressed in the sweats and hooded sweatshirt she had on this morning when he talked to her.

He walked toward her speaking softly.

"Olivia, I came to check on you."

Olivia moved slightly, nodding her head.

"I had a feeling you wouldn't take the meds I gave you. It's okay they will just help you get a good sleep. It's easier to face your demons if you are well rested. It's going to take more than one good sleep. Your going to have to relax and talk, talking really does help. Your body also needs to rest and heal, the stress is not good for your mind or your body."

"I don't want to sleep." Olivia finally spoke. She rubbed her head and neck. She was starting to feel achy. She felt kinda off at the station, but had cast it aside.

"Why not?" He knelt beside her chair.

"My dreams, they are too much. They come back. They keep coming back." She was feeling cold, deep in her bones.

"How long Olivia? How long have you been having the nightmares?"

"I've had nightmares my whole life, it comes from my childhood and the job."

"We all have nightmares, but how long have you been having then like you did this morning?"

"On and off for a couple years. More so and more intensely the last two months." She was tired, her bones ached, and she was so tired.

"Why didn't you come to me?" He asked looking at her searching for answers.

"You were busy…. I thought I could handle it…at work I can."

"What about at home?"

"At home…. Here… here is where loneliness lives." Tears streaked her face. She was sweating now.

She shut her eyes. George touched her hand that was over the edge of the arm. He noticed it felt clammy.

"Are you feeling Okay?" he asked concern in his voice.

"I had a scratchy…th..throat yyyesterday. I felt kind of bbbad this morning, but thought it was the dream."

"You don't look so good Olivia."

"I'm cold…tired…achy…"

"Hmm"

He felt her forehead it was hot. He didn't want to go rummaging through her stuff, he remembered that he kept a thermometer in his bag. He hurried over and snatched her bag and hurried back. He opened it on the coffee table. Locating the device, he stuck in under her tongue and waited for the beep.

It read 102.5; yup Olivia had the flu.

"Olivia?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you have the pills I gave you earlier."

She dug into her pocket in slow motion and dropped the pills into his waiting hand. He took one pill, splitting the pair. He dug into his bag again and pulled out two extra strength pain killer/ fever reducers and handed the trio back to her.

"Kitchen?"

She managed a sloppy pointing motion and he took off. He grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge. Returning to her side.

"You should probably get in bed before you take the medicine."

"Ok." She couldn't protest it took too much energy.

Olivia slumped out of the chair and shuffled down the hall.

"Do you want me to call anyone to stay with you?" George followed with the water.

"No…I'd rather be a..alone… thanks."

George got to the bed before her and drew down the bedding. She slipped in and popped the pills into her mouth. He handed her the water. She swallowed with a grimice. She handed the bottle back to him. He set it on the night stand.

She nestled into the pillows. Shutting her eyes.

"Thanks."

"Your welcome. I'll see you later, feel better."

"Take the key to lock up… please, the key is there… just slip it…. Into the mail slot downstairs." She said fadingly.

"Okay" he smiled, even a cop on her sick bed.

He walked back out into the living room to gather his things. He took 1 days worth of the sleeping pills and placed them in an envelope with the name and instructions on it. He took that and the bottle of painkillers and set them on her counter island along with a business card for a colleague of his, Dr. Angie Mays.

He gathered his back and coat. He saw the key she meant it was just a single key with a box number on it. He took it and glanced at it quizzically and shrugged, it was non-of his business what his colleagues did. He shut the door and locked it, and threw the key in the slit on the indicated box.

&&&

/The Next Day/

Where Am I? Olivia thought to herself as she slowly came into conscience.

She lay there for a minute feeling miserable.

Her fever was lower, but she was still clammy feeling.

She had to use the bathroom. She eased herself out of bed. Her head felt detached, so she took the short trip gingerly. She hated being sick.

Since she was already in the bathroom she decided to take a shower. She didn't feel like making the extra trip later and a shower would feel great right now.

She turned on the water. Carefully extracted herself from her clothes and stepped in. She let the hot water soak into her sore body. She washed up a little, but it was hard, her body ached and her head spun. She turned off the water and wrapped in a big towel. Returning to her room she located some sweats and a tank. She crawled back in bed, covering up and went back to sleep.

&&&

A few hours later she woke up again. This time she was very thirsty. She again eased out of bed. The water next to her bed had gotten too warm. She staggered into the kitchen.

Her eyes fell upon the goodies left by Huang.

She vaguely remembered him being there last night. She grabbed the bottle of painkillers and trudged to the fridge.

After getting a fresh cold bottle of water she glanced at the couch. Not wanting to make the journey back to the bedroom just yet, she dropped herself into the couch, wrapping herself into a down blanket, and took some medicine.

She let sleep take over. It was already evening. She really hatted being sick.

&&&

/the next day at the station/

Elliot sat working on paper work at his desk. It was nine in the morning, he'd been there for an hour, but it felt more like three.

He glanced at his partner's desk. It sat empty. He wondered how she was doing. Huang had stopped in early yesterday to fill them in on her health status.

He had thought about checking on her on his lunch break yesterday or calling her. Then he decided she should get some uninterrupted rest. With the flu she probably wouldn't be awake anyway. He would have her checked on later today he guessed.

He refocused himself to his work. As he placed another file into his outbox he heard someone enter. He looked up to see a blonde haired woman.

Alex Cabot stood framed in the doorway dressed in jeans and a sweater she had her coat over her arm. She looked like she was made for this entrance. She gathered herself then finished entering the squad room.

Elliot had a huge grin on his face. He scooted around the desk and wrapped the former ADA in a gigantic hug. She accepted the warm hug with a smile of her own. It felt wonderful to be back.

"Where is everyone?" She asked not seeing any of her former colleagues.

"Well let's see Cragen is in his office. Munch and Fin should be back any second now, they were on a call early this morning." He paused for a moment.

"Where is Olivia?" She asked with a hint of worry.

"She took a leave of absence, Health reasons, it started the day we found out you were coming home."

"What happened?" She questioned, she hoped Olivia was not seriously ill.

"She has been under too much stress and it broke her down. Huang was with her for a while that morning, that's all I really know. However she also ended up with a pretty bad flu."

"Oh no. Maybe I should go see her."

Just then Cragen slammed out of his office.

"Elliot, Munch and Fin are on their way back, they think they have the perp. Novak is on her way over she is pissed."

Cragen's eyes softened as he took in Alex's presence.

"Alex, I didn't realize you were here yet."

"Just got here cap," she used the name his detectives use. "Elliot was just filling me in on where everyone was."

"Yes, we have been…."

He was cut off by an angry ADA storming into the room. Alex stepped back she was king of amused.

"Where are they?" Casey flew into the room.

"They will be here in a minute."

"They just couldn't wait could they. I told them there was probably not enough for the warrant and to hold off searching, but they just couldn't wait. We are not going to be able to keep him the search was not permissible."

She threw her brief case on the floor with a thud, her red hair seemed almost ablaze.

"Further more, why even bother asking me to get the warrant if you're not going to wait for it. By the way it _was_ denied. I don't know how I handle you people some days." She seethed.

"I asked myself the same question some days." A voice spoke out startling the ADA.

She turned around and saw the blonde, sizing her up in her mind.

"Detectives they always want, what they want, when they want it," She laughed, "Alexandra Cabot." She stuck her hand out.

Casey accepted the hand, "Casey Novak."

"It will work out, trust me, you'll just have to do some dancing."

Munch and Fin walked in.

"Thank you." She smiled and nodded. Then followed them into the next room to begin interrogation, of both detectives and suspect.

"Welcome home Alex," Cragen hugged her.

"Thank you captain. Tell Munch and Fin I'll be visit with them later. I am going to go check on Olivia."

"Alright, that might be a good idea. Let us know if she needs anything."

"I will, Its great to see you guys again."

&&&

/Same time Olivia's/

Olivia woke in a sweat. Another nightmare. She lay there trying to catch her breath. She didn't remember much of it, but the parts she did remember made her think it for the best.

She was sweaty so she crawled off the couch and carefully made her way into the bathroom. She took another long hot shower and donned another pair of sweats. She was still sore and her head was still spinny, she vowed to never get sick again. She had grabbed the thermometer out of the bathroom on her way out ad nestled back into the couch. She re-tested her temp. It was 100.1, better but still fever. It had broke yesterday for a while. She got a great sleep for about 6 hours, but it seemed to have risen again and she was still exhausted. She turned on the TV and flipped for a while finally deciding on a rerun of Looney Toons, not a lot of thought went into it. After a few segments she drifted into sleep.

Knock Knock Knock

"Urg" Olivia groaned at the sound of the door. She secretly hoped it wasn't George, he meant well, but she put her guard down around him enough for one week, hell a year. She turned off the TV.

Knock Knock

"Hrg" she grunted at the door as she dragged herself, still wrapped in the blanket, to the door

She stumbled with the locks, not even bothering to use the security chain. It was probably one of the guys checking on her anyway. She nudged open the door.

Lifting her head to see who it was backing up a little she fell to the ground tears spilling down her face, causing a coughing fit.

&&&

Alex made it to Olivia's door. She thought she heard the TV softly on the other side.

At least she wouldn't have to travel from the bedroom.

She knocked and waited then knocked gain.

She heard the locks being opened and braced her self, unsure of what she was going to face. How did Olivia look? Will she be happy to see me?

The door opened.

Alex took in the tousled short brown reddish hair attached to a blanket that greeted her. Sad, sick brown eyes soon looked up to meet hers. Emotions flashed across Olivia's face at full speed, Alex couldn't read them. She hated to see her friends hurting and sick, especially Olivia, she was so strong, Alex was a bit taken back by the state of her. As Olivia stepped back and fell, crying and coughing, her heart broke.

She entered the home, locking the door behind her, she would be here for a while. She knelt quickly beside Olivia, wrapping her arms around her friend. Rubbing her back as she cried, soothing her so her cough would settle, rocking softly.

After a few minutes Olivia calmed.

"I'm s..so s..ssor..ry." Olivia choked out.

"Shhh, you don't half to apologize." Alex whispered, continuing to sooth her friend.

Alex slowly got up, carefully brining Olivia with her. They made their way back to the couch. Olivia was still crying slightly.

"Shh, everything is okay, everything will be okay," Alex whispered.

Olivia drifted off to sleep with Alex softly rubbing her back. After a few minutes of quiet Alex also drifted off, the trip to NY catching up to her. Thrashing awakened her.

Olivia was squirming around the couch, fighting an unseen battle. Alex eased herself away and off the couch and knelt by Olivia's head.

"Olivia," she spoke gently, wiping the hair away from her damp forehead.

"Olivia you need to wake up."

Olivia slowly came around. And looked around for a second before making eye contact with her friend, who was looking at her questioningly.

"Nightmare." Olivia stated tiredly. Being sick took way too much out of her, she thought.

Alex nodded. "Often?"

Olivia nodded.

Alex let it drop, she knew that Olivia would talk when she was ready. That didn't stop her from worrying for her friend.

"When was the last time you ate something?"

"I don't remember." Olivia said sitting up.

"I'll make you some soup."

Alex went into the kitchen and after a few minutes and a microwave beep she emerged with a bowl of condensed chicken noodle and a glass of juice.

Olivia took it and ate slowly, finishing most of it. Alex took the dishes back to the kitchen and placed them in the sink. She returned to her friend.

"It's so good to see you." Olivia said when she returned to the couch.

"It's great to be back." Alex replied.

"I just wish I was feeling better."

"Elliot said you were on leave, do you want to talk about it."

"I…I just let things get out of control."

"What things."

"Life, nightmares, work. I really don't want to talk about it right now, I've talked to Huang and he left me a card. Did you like the place you were in."

"It was alright but I'll always be a city girl. They had me in a small town in Colorado. It was nice but not New York. I was teaching advanced public justice at the college there. That was interesting, but I missed practicing it. It was weird because I ran across one of the cases that I worked on my first year, it was referenced in a list not huge but 'Cabot' was listed in the attorneys working on the case. I was mentioned in the textbook there and couldn't tell anyone, it was weird. It was hard at times because I would have been able to give them so much more if I was able to refer to myself as Alex Cabot."

She paused for a moment.

"I made the decision to tell my students once I was able to come back. It was the last day of class, they didn't believe me at first. I told them to look up a case I did here, I gave them every last detail. After they had done that they were to come to my office the next day, I would be grading papers. A few came back, the serious students, they were impressed. One is coming to NY for Law School and asked to meet with me here. I told her yes. She will be an incredible attorney. Maybe I should try teaching a course or two here." Alex laughed.

"Sounds like you should." Olivia smiled at her.

Olivia yawned.

"Why don't you lie down again. You still look a little pale."

Olivia laid down on the couch, curling up. Alex put her feet up on the coffee table and offered her lap with a pillow on it to Olivia. She placed her head onto the pillow and closed her eyes.

Alex placed her hand on Olivia's head, it still felt warm but she wasn't as clammy. She stroked her hand through Olivia's short hair. Olivia slowly drifted into a true peaceful sleep the first in a long time. Alex leaned down and kissed her forehead.

"I'll help you Olivia. I'm back now." She whispered quietly and rested her head back against the back of the couch. Letting sleep take her away, she continued to stroke the short hair on the head resting on her.

The End.

A/N: These were long sections. I knew however if I didn't do it like this the story would never be done. Yay this is the second story of mine that has made it to completion. I don't know if I'll do a continuation or sequel, probably not. I hope you enjoyed it. Please, Please Review, it helps. I'm very curious to hear what you have to say about it.


End file.
